Coming Back to the Source

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Hello there. It’s been a while. Too long, for my taste.

I won’t offer an excuse because I don’t have one. Granted, I posted on my other blog “Lauren, A Lifetime Learner” simply because it was mandatory at the time. But now, I’m not sure which blog will continue moving forward. Both? Neither? Only time will tell.

To be honest, blogging seems…arbitrary. Capricious, even. Blogging only suits my needs in the sense that I let my words spill onto electronic paper, open for criticism and pondering by complete strangers. What’s the benefit from this interaction?

The benefit is self-reflection, both upon the reader and the writer. Granted, I could name several writers and professors who claim that writing should not be focused on the writer; but if we cannot express ourselves in our writing, then how is writing “creative”? If we are only the speakers of the stories that pour out of us, then it would almost seem mechanical to me. We live in a mechanical, predictable world already. Writing should be about spicing up my life, and my reader’s life. I myself want to be as surprised as those who read the diction upon which I create. I’m grateful for being left-handed, because it means my brain’s right hemisphere is dominant. The creative side is my solace.

And now, a turn.

I have found Twitch to become a solace for me lately after my closing shifts for my new job. (Don’t worry, I still have my university job too.) On streams, the host doesn’t have time to refine themselves; they must act within the moment in order to keep their viewers, so being genuine triumphs over professionalism at times. I have found two amazing streamers in the past two weeks, both whom I’d say are classy and interactive with their respective communities. I even got to talk about haikus with them and their audience as they were playing games. Twitch is about being human, surrounded by technology and not letting boundaries such as class, creed, distance, or other means to stop at least two complete strangers to share a moment together.

That is what I want to do with my writing.

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The World Turns

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A new year begins.

It’s been a mild one, in the sense that there hasn’t been freezing temperatures, or major snow. And yes, to one person out there, I think of you when it snows, too.

But it’s rough in other terms, as I pass by dates that meant so much to me a year ago…it’s funny how a collection of so many days, say, 365 days, can make a world of difference.

I want everyone to know something. That mental, as well as emotional, issuesΒ count as medical issues. They aren’t something for the “weak”, or something made up. It sickens me when people say that, even more so when it’s spoken to me in front of my face.

Sure, I’ll put a brave face on, and try to explain how they could be wrong. But it’s a mask to hide the hurt.

On a brighter note, I start my field experience next week. That means I get to start having a hands-on experience at a high school for my future career as an educator; I’ll get to tutor at an after-school program.

I leave you with a haiku:

World turning slowly
When the moon hugs the sky’s curves
As sleep evades me.

Chao, everyone. πŸ™‚

 

Hark! The Herald Students Sing!

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Hark! The Herald Students Sing, we’re almost done, with this school thing! Peace on earth, and mercy mild, all the grades be reconciled. Joyful, all colleges rise, finals are their own demise.

Finals are nearly done…can you tell I’m a college student by how loopy those lyrics sound?
Anyways, for any of you students out there reading this…breathe. It’s nearly over. Eggnog, sleeping in, and Santa gifts await thee who are patient and strong-willed. As for me, I’m looking forward to Thanks-Taking later this week with my friends…essentially, we are going to have a holiday party together to end this year on a good note.

Because this year needs to have one really good note, my goodness.

Anyways, feathers…I still see them now and then. Not as common (no duh since the birds have migrated) in this season, but they appear when I need them most.

Anyways, I should probably get back to studying. One thing I have definitely been doing is making haikus. One of them being:

Ice showers, hot rain,
Neither matter to me now,
Either way I’ll drown.

…That sounded much more depressing than I need to. I leave you with a happier haiku. Chao! πŸ™‚

Marginalia
Careful meter and spilled ink
Dripped from my parched tongue.

Hiatus

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So…I’ve been on a hiatus.

Joined a writing group at my university. Student Writer’s Union, aka SWU. I’ve been doing better, slowly but surely. I have a few circles of friends, which I am so thankful for. Been able to get a support group, find people who are deep thinkers, and have a passion for words. Logoleptics πŸ™‚ Romantic situation for myself has changed, but to be honest, it has been for the better by a longshot.

Feathers. Oh my gosh feathers. They’ve been everywhere. I’ve seen a flock of white doves for the second time this semester; their white feathers have been around the university’s library, where I am at most of the time.

I am participating in NaNoWriMo. Write a novel in a month. I’m more of a poet, so word count never intrigued me. However, I’m gonna try to write 1000 words a night. That’ll only be a little over half the 50,000 words that the main goal is, but one thing at a time. If you want to participate, here’s a link to their website:http://nanowrimo.org

Here’s an except of what I have: ”

God must be a painter. He had to have glossed the leaves orange, red, and yellow in autumn as a reminder of warmth for ourselves to linger on to in the cold winter days ahead.”

Again, I apologize for my hiatus. Hopefully I can get back on a weekly basis.

Stay strong and carry on, everyone. πŸ™‚ Chao!

And the World Keeps Rolling On

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Ah, the day after Labor Day. The day that many students grudgingly crawl back to textbooks and studying on. The day where white is no longer “fashionably” acceptable in public. T’is the precipice of autumn rolling around; I feel it in the air as the leaves become a duller green and as I’m munching on my pumpkin muffin as I write this sentence down (as well as drink some coffee). I know what you’re thinking: “poor little first-world girl”, “woe-is-her for having to go back to class!” et cetera, et cetera.Β 

Poor little kitten is what you all should be thinking. I had to send Houdini (the new little guy) off to get his manhood snipped off. By tomorrow he may hate me. Primrose is crying as we speak, I assume. I don’t know; I’m in a well-furnished coffeehouse atm. (The true writer’s setting, ahahaha *pushes up glasses rhetorically and snarkily*).

Anyways, for a feather update: I got a mallard duck tail feather the other day when I picked up my glasses. I convinced them I had food with a napkin, quacking to get their attention. They were cute as they stumbled and flopped in the water, gliding clumsily to me to try and devour the napkin and bread scraps. A little sense of my childhood was regained.

I’m also really glad that I am in a creative writing class this semester; perhaps I’ll keep you guys updated about it. Currently, we’re writing lists and short-shorts based on those lists. An example are secret worlds (like Seat 19 and my bedroom window at midnight), to childhood memories that define the “movie of my life”. Creative writing is all about images, not thought. My blog bounces back and forth between that. I know it focuses on retelling of my life, as well as my thoughts. However, I try to insert imagery here are there.

Until next time, whether that’s back on the scheduled Fridays or when I find the dang time to write on this blog! Happy reading everyone and have a wonderful day. Chao πŸ™‚Β 

New Beginnings

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Hey everyone!

Sorry for not posting anything on Friday…I was training all day and I’ve been crazy busy with getting stuff ready for a new semester! I just started classes for my second year today. πŸ™‚ A lot of old faces mingled in with the new; some professors I have had, most I have not had. Many friends (or perhaps more correlated with the term known as “classmates”) with similar majors of mine have a class with me this semester. It’s nice to lean back on old people.

I’ve noticed my days are getting brighter. My medication is helping. One thing I’ve found very helpful is having outlets to focus my energy on. These outlets include snuggling Primrose (and the newest addition, the little kitten named Houdini <3), coming up with musical melodies and lines of poetry, and quite recently, yoga. I’m actually starting out three of my five mornings with yoga, so it’s going to be a great motivator to get myself out of bed. Another help is just talking. I’ve had my days of near silence and disconnection to the world, yes, but sometimes it happens because of negative influences in my life that I’m trying to hide from, and that I like to think introspectively. My boyfriend and one or two of my other real friends have helped me tremendously with getting through the summer. So if you’re reading this, then thank you so much. I feel appreciated and loved because of you guys. ❀

So for those that are either starting a new year, starting a new job or just returning to an old routine, remember that we are at a turn of a season if nothing else! There doesn’t always have to be a reason of change to change for yourself. It’s through self-motivation and emotional support that positive change is possible.

Take care everyone! Chao πŸ™‚

Morning Coffee

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Happy Friday everyone!

Nothing really gets me kicked-started in the morning like a nice cup of coffee. Personally, I’m a mocha frappuccino or chai tea latte kind of girl, but coffee seems to be a given for any liberal arts major or writer. Anyways, before I walked to my university’s Starbucks (one of my favorite and beloved places on campus) I saw a white feather outside of the library in my path.

I think it could be a dove feather, due to the size and shape. There were no markings other than it being white and the crest of the feather being slightly rounded rather than pointed (making it a wing feather). Put simply from research on its meaning, a dove feather is a symbol ofΒ motherhood.

It’s sort of ironic that these feathers are showing up more and more as time goes on, but I take it with grace and realize that it’s just an angel or spirit acknowledging me and my thoughts. The thought in question that I had when the feather was at my feet was me pondering on childhood trains of thoughts. I thought to myself as a kid: “I want to take the toxic fumes and turn them into air fresheners”. It seems silly, but then I really starting thinking, “is there a few chemicals that will change the toxicity into something safe and beneficial for the environment?” I think the angel that dropped the feather was acknowledging my creative thinking.

Coffee=kick-starter of day+drink for musing. A beautiful equation.
Chao πŸ™‚